I’m gettin’ old.
I first realized it about 3 or 4 years ago while looking at some pictures from one of my wife’s plays. I forget who was showing me the pictures, but the conversation went something like this:
Me: “oh, this is a great shot from the balcony.”
Other person: “did you have good seats for the show?”
Me (pointing): “Yeah, I’m sitting in the second row, right next to that balding guy… wait a sec… shit – I’m the balding guy! Why didn’t anyone tell me?!?!”
Seriously – why didn’t anyone tell me? It’s not like I spent a ton of time in my late 20s/early 30s in front of 2 mirrors, checking the back of my hair. I really had no clue! Someone shoulda told me… My brother (who’s older, by-the-way), to this day has a full head of wavy hair – why the fuck did the bald fairy choose to visit me? If I ever see the bald fairy, I’m so gonna pwn her.
Anyway, so now I’m bald (I think it’s the better alternative to a bald spot), and I was hit by the old truck again this weekend – I now loathe the cold.
For my entire life, I prided myself on my “Maine genes” and my ability to withstand the cold. I long argued that cold was better than warmth because “you can always put on more layers.”
Now, I’m old.
We went camping this weekend, and it was friggin’ cold. The kids were miserable, and I just couldn’t get warm. What the hell happened? When did the cold start to affect me so much? I went “camping” once in March (~20 years ago) where my peanut butter froze! That didn’t even bother me. What happened to that guy?
Well, I guess I’m ready for my broom (to bang on my porch as I yell at the kids passing by), because I’m also ready to head south. I actually feel the draw of Florida like the gentle pull of a black hole far out in the galaxy… it will eventually consume me.
Anyone else have any good “getting old” stories to share? Feel free to leave a comment to add to the patheticness.