So, yeah… blackberry died and I never knew my phone could be an actual “partner”, rather than this fucking little thing I fought with.
If any of you Apple whores try to tell me “I told you so,” I swear to freakin’ God I will kick you in your balls or girly parts (or both)…. swear to God.
Anyway, just like my earlier ode, this one is full of extra-marital/frightening overtones. Enjoy! 🙂
My iPad and me are close
But I’m not about to put a plate to my ear.
So I needed someone new,
Someone to my belt I can adhere.
For years I have fondled small blackberries in between my fingers.
Low battery, lame to the touch, everything a chore-
Gosh I hate those dirty little thingers!
But now I have something that works.
As I slide my fingers across the screen,
I have a problem in my shorts.
If only you could talk,
I would finally have a thing large enough in my hand in which to boast.
And If we aren’t careful,
You will soon be the thing I hold in my hand most.
So please forgive all the hate I have given you before we met.
Now that we are together, there ain’t no one who can tear us up,
Not even zombie Boba Fett.