Time to amend my airplane rules.
Amendment #1: Don’t bring your yippy dog into the passenger cabin without a tranq. It is an animal and it will be fine in the cargo area. No, you are wrong to debate me. If your animal requires constant contact with your skin, perhaps you should drive to your destination. Or seek therapy. At the very least, don’t torture the rest of us with the constant whining, wailing. Humans rule, yippy dogs on a plane can suck it.
Amendment #2: Babies can cry, your 6 year old is not allowed to scream. I’m not talking about panicked hysteria. No, I’m telling you, two rows behind me, to cover your kid’s mouth (and nose, if you don’t mind) with your hand and control it. It is not allowed to emit a high-pitched shriek every 16 seconds because it is angry at you for bringing it on the plane. Control the little fucker, grow a pair and discipline your stupid kid. It’s not funny. It will be less funny when I murder your face. Do it!
Matt will be taking Advil PM tonight for sure… And maybe a tranquilizer the next time I step foot onto a Southwest flight. Buncha peasants.
Omfg, the fuckin’ kid keeps shrieking… Rage taking over…