Oh iPad, oh iPad,
Where have you been all my life?
You have changed me today,
Would you consider replacing my wife?
I once wrote on the plane with my laptop,
But douchebags in front of me always lowered their seats.
Couldn’t they see I was working?
What a bunch of rat-dick-meats.
Speaking of meat that is smelly,
I love how Pages knows English perfectly.
Good-bye forever Micro$oft Word,
You have failed me as an ally like Italy.
I know there are things you cannot do,
Like multi-tasking and working with files.
I’m willing to forgive those flaws,
But only for a while.
Yes, as you can see,
I am a fickle sort.
Just ask anyone who plays games with me,
Of their criticism I have no retort.
** – No Italians were harmed in the making of this Ode