So, I got to the AVIS rental counter before the unwashed masses, and I spent about 30 minutes there while they searched for my cheap rental. One customer came storming back into the office yelling there was blood in her back seat.
Chicago is so unique.
Anyway, my sales rep finally gave up and said he’d upgrade me to a SUV… whatever, as long as it has 4 wheels and a minimal amount of blood.
I stroll up to spot F24 and what do I find? Blam-O:
Yeah, that’s my ride this week. I’ve always wanted a jeep since MacGuyver, but this is a little overkill. I feel like I’m driving around in a gigantic penis and thoughts like “yeah, my balls are bigger than yours” keep popping into my head. I could run over an entire kindergarten class and I probably wouldn’t notice. This is “male car compensation” incarnate, and I’m lovin’ it!
Next week, I’m sure I’ll be back to a more appropriately sized car for my ego… but, for now – watch out babes of Illinois! Matt is on the prowl!