My awesome & talented colleagues over at Literary Underground released a FREE anthology of short fiction!

Get it here.

For you “old folks” in the audience: you don’t need an ebook reader. Just choose “Online Reading HTML” and enjoy!   (starts on page 78)

My piece in there relates to the only Christmas song I like (yeah, I’m a Grinch). Yup, gonna write a novel based upon the concept someday… maybe… gotta get through some other, louder ideas first.

Another 20% off over at Lulu (maybe someday Amazon createspace will let me do hardcovers). But, for now, hit the “Matt’s Books” link to find the Lulu link. At checkout, apply this code:

PRICETHAW305

Coupon Expires Jan 20.

What the frak are you waiting for?

So, I met (in person) the voice actress for Eden last night for the first time. We’d been in contact over email/phone for about a year leading up to this so we weren’t complete strangers. I swear, every time I talk with her I learn something new! The “audio world” is a big, bad place for little girls in red cloaks (like me). So, here’s some “getting started” tips for a fellow audiobook newbie:

• Work with a trained voice actor/actress. Sure, Uncle Bob can read your book – he’s got a nice, dulcet voice. Right? Wrong. Many fiction audiobooks (like print books) live and die by the quality of the reader/pro reviews. And many of those reviews will judge the quality of the narration. Awful narration will kill a classic and fantastic narration can lift almost any work. There’s a ton more you have still to do beyond Uncle Bob’s recording, so start-off on the right foot for this massive undertaking: work with a pro.
• Know what you want. There are as many ways to narrate a book as there are ohmygoditssogoodmyheadasplode fans of tween vampire stories. For fiction, I don’t feel a “flat” narration does you any justice. Why would you want your dramatic scenes read the same as the description of a fork? (hopefully you don’t do too much fork-description in your books) While a “flat” reading may be suitable for a non-fiction book, I prefer the expressive form. I want to feel as the characters do, and a great voice actor can get your audience to some special places alongside your words.  On that same point, you might not want a campy “radio show” reading either. Again, this is where a pro will know the difference between proper expression and eye-rolling lameness. A powerful, expressive reading is where I believe most fiction is at. Aim for that and your listener(s) will be engaged and swept into the performance of your professional actor.
• Get some help. Use the resources on the Audiobook Creation Exchange (ACX) to link-up with a “real” production studio. Talk to friends in the biz. Read some blogs. As a self-publishing man/woman, you’ll likely be the producer. This means you’ll need someone to master the audio (no, it doesn’t come in a single, perfect track from your voice actor). As the producer, you’ll also have to give direction to your voice actor. Listen to early samples and make sure the characters are developing the way you want them to. If there’s something wrong (like he’s taking a deep breath between each sentence), nip it in the bud! Basically, you need to manage this project like you would any other. Stay on top of things, stay communicative and stay involved! If you are expecting to hand someone your manuscript and receive a perfect mp3 6 months later — your expectations might need some adjusting.

So, here begins my journey down the path of audiobook self-publishing. I’m sure I’ll make some mistakes on the way, but you can bet yer panties my team will produce a quality work of art. As I stumble along, I’ll share my thoughts and experiences. Now that we can self-publish to Audible.com, the barriers are gone. It truly is an exciting time to be a writer!

Oh, and one more thing for 2012 or 2013: audiobook launch party in L.A. – go big or go home, kiddies!! 

To my surprise (everything surprises me these days — “oh look, a Starbucks!”), many of the writers I’m coaching have asked me this question:

“Matt, why do you smell like that?”

No, wait. This:

“Matt, what order do you complete tasks when yer writing a novel?”

Of course, my response was to stare blankly at them, drool and think about the universal mysteries of life (or what I plan to have for dinner… I’m a deep guy that way). Being somewhat of a “hip shooter,” I’ve never thought about my own publishing process. I’ve just been “winging it” since I started. With not guide or mentor (and I’m too lazy/cheap to invest in some helpful books/blogs), I’ve been rumblin’, bumblin’, stumblin’ my way through the murky self-publishing waters.

However, I do believe my monkey-plan self-publishing “process” may have some merit to it. Of course, your mileage may vary:

1. Write the darn book (1st draft). If you don’t have a book, you don’t have anything. “Life rewards action, not inertia.” – Chuck Wendig, from his awesome post: 25 things Writers should stop doing

2. Contact an artist for cover art. Try to give them some direction. Here’s what I gave my artist for Babylon:

Yup, I'm that shitty an artist...

3. Get Draft #2 out to your #2 (spouse, best friend, Starbucks hobo).

4. Get Draft #3 (it’s usually #4 or #5 for me, personally) out to your A-Team. This is a good time to start working on the book trailer video. Hopefully, someone on your A-Team can do it for “free.” Why a trailer video? I’ll counter with: Why would you deny yourself a possible sale from a random Youtube hit? 1 minute max on the trailer video… 30 seconds is best (so you can place it as an online ad if you want to). No, don’t argue with me. To my fellow self-pubbers with 4 minute trailer vids – “Yer doing it wrong!” 

5. Revise from A-Team advice. Here is where you can expand the audience or skip to step 6.

6. Read the frakkin thing out loud. This is edit #6 or beyond. Do it. Don’t skip this step!

7. Get your “Final” edit to your editor. (still in malleable word processor form)

8. Finalize the cover with art and graphics. Do a “back of book” blurb with insight from A-Team.

9. Get final cut from editor, make edits, construct final book in the format(s) you need: hardcover, paperback, ebook, etc.

10. Contact review sites / reviewers — make the book available to them for review

11. Publish the frakkin thing to Amazon, Smashwords, B&N, etc etc.

These 11 steps are (I think) the entirety of my process… and then starts the hard part: marketing/publicity.

From one of my favorite songs of all time. I was challenged this morning to an impromptu round of Encore! (the word was “Blue”) and I tried to sing this song. My “judges” didn’t believe me. Well, I found the Lou Gramm song and sent a sample off to the disbelievers. I then listened to the song again for the first time in probably a year.

So good. So appropriate as I continue to blaze my own path in 2012 and mentor other storytellers taking their first steps on their own publishing/writing paths. My advice for 2012: “Follow-through.”

http://www.history.com/schedule/h2

Tonight’s episode: 7 Signs of the Apocalypse!

Thought I’d share… for obvious reasons (look up).

Looks like the episodes continue all week on the deuce. Enjoy!

As far as writing advice goes, I’d rank this at the top or near the top. You see, in the deepest recesses of my shriveled heart, I believe Storytelling comes from a place of pure creativity. Sprung from the desire to tell a tale, explore a human condition or delve into a “what if?” – a story needs no added ingredients to grow.

Let it grow from your heart and mind.

I believe (and I’m sure people will one day call me “crazy” for it) that a story loses itself once the “teller” begins to plan the course of events, character and change. Some amount of planning is necessary, of course, or you wouldn’t have a story. However, this ”structure” should be as thin as possible – I suggest one sentence worth. Like:

The devil sells coveted items at an antique shop.

Or

Caveman gets captured by evolved race of lizards.

Or

Lowly bishop attempts to change the face of Christianity by conjuring an illusion of a long dead church enemy.

And that’s it!!!!

Don’t outline. Don’t plan characters, events and change. This is the essence of “plot” and I loathe its overuse. What the frak am I talking about? Let’s take my last example of the bishop and Christianity. Stop reading here if you ever plan to read/watch Angels & Demons, by Dan Brown.

–Spoilers!–

I shall admit right off the bat: I haven’t read the book. I have only watched the movie. While this may be loathsome, I’m not giving a book review here so keep yer skirt on. I feel I can adequately make my point about plot without subjecting myself to the same material in a different medium.

Gawd, you are a persnickety one.

Anyway, I liked the basic concept as I put forth in my one-sentence teaser. Sounds like fun, right? I think it would have been, if the work wasn’t an over plotted mess. Let’s dive in! 

Our hero is a cryptologist called “Pardu”… Oh, you haven’t watched Mazes & Monsters yet? Go do that, I’ll wait here.

…

Okay, back to Angels & Demons. The movie starts with the death of the pope and the theft of some mini-black hole bomb. (which was just discovered, and contained, moments prior)

So, Pardu is called in by Obi Wan Kenobi to decipher some symbols – evil symbols from the ancient Illuminati. The signs seem to predict a string of murders of high-ranking Catholic dudes (cause god forbid a woman have any power).

Then, they find out (dun dun dun) that the Illuminati stole a bomb and plan to blow the Vatican to high heaven!

As my wife and I watched the movie, we kept dreading the end. We knew Obi Wan was the bad guy, but it just didn’t make sense. She even said : “If it’s him, I’m gonna be pissed.”

And she was right to be angered!

I’m going to break down the villain’s “grand plan” and let you be the judge. Obi Wan’s motive was to become pope so he could reform his faith. And his plan was to:

• Steal a theoretical, unstable substance moments after its discovery to use as a bomb.
• Murder his good friend, the pope (eventho he was basically the pope’s 2nd in command, with the pope’s ear and some measure of power to affect change from within)
• Hire a professional killer to murder a half dozen fellow men of the cloth because they were too “soft”.
• Call in Pardu (you might know him as Tom Hanks) to claim the fake symbology is Illuminati to spread fear amongst the Vatican.
• Trust that Pardu will figure out the clues at the precise minute the crazy bomb (in which no one on the planet is an expert) is about to explode.
• Hop into a nearby helicopter with the bomb (now at critical mass, as new/theoretical bombs always play by the rules) and fly into the air.
• Helicopter explodes and Obi-Wan parachutes to safety – hailed as the savior of Vatican City.

I’ll give you a moment to take all of that in. Yes, it’s a metric ton.

By executing this multi-step plan, all while relying on a bomb technology not 1 day old, Obi Wan hoped to be spontaneously elected pope, eventho he wasn’t eligible.

This was his “plan A”, I guess.

…

And there we have Plot, brought to the nth degree by over-planning and too much darn thought. I can imagine the writer sitting as his desk, scheming about plot twists & turns that will keep his readers guessing. Problem is, that approach leads to a terrible story. Believability goes right out the window, as does a naturally flowing story. And you end with a mess (in my opinion).

My advice to those writers now taking advice from me (so sorry): Don’t frakkin plot! Start with your idea, jot a few notes, write, jot a few more notes, and then write some more. I typically wait until my “idea” has incubated in my brain to a point where it needs release. Then, the writing comes easy. And you know what else comes easy? The story. It will flow free of the constraints of an outline or some “graphed” line from plot point A to B to C and so on.

There is a difference between a writer and a storyteller. Go be a storyteller.

(hey, out of millions of Kindle books, that’s not bad for a lowly “nobody”!!)

I have no doubt this was from all the new Kindles people got as gifts. So, it’ll be interesting to see sales in the Jan/Feb 2012 timeframe this holiday season.

Of course, writers who sell hundreds/thousands of books per day might laugh at my little graphic there; but I do have a point here. I’ve been helping some other writers take their first steps into self-publishing recently, and I’m here to offer a counterpoint to all the nay-sayers in their lives (and possibly yours).

I was/am an unknown writer. A part of me said I’d never sell a single copy to a stranger. I was frightened. I believed in the publishing industry, and not myself.

Wow, how wrong I was.

If you think your work is polished, skillful and worthy - go for it! While the Amanda Hockings are the extreme cases to be sure, there is still success to be had for unknown writers to get their stories in the hands of readers. Just because someone else says “no” to you doesn’t mean you need to same the same to yourself. Empower yourself. Believe in yourself. You may be surprised at where it takes you. When push comes to shove, I say you shove. Get out there and publish already!

Babylon: Daft #2.5 is still with the wife. If you want the book before I die of old age, send her nasty emails or call her (555.READ.IT.ALREADY). Once she finishes, I can get the next draft done and move it along. We’re looking for an early 2012 release there. The first draft of the video trailer is also done, but I’m not sure my #2 is completely happy with it. Once that is done, you bet we’ll post it here.

Eden Audiobook: Yup, I’ve hinted at this in the past and it’s finally, officially happening! I have one of the best voice actresses in the world ready to read the narrative. What held me back was the cost vs. Distribution. I knew (via “Matt Math”) that distributing outside of Audible.com was probably not going to cut the mustard. So, I waited. And waited. Now, it’s possible for me to put the audiobook of Eden up on Audible and iTunes via self-publishing, so we’re going for it! You can bet I’ll post instructions (with screenshots, of course) on my experiences with self-publishing an audiobook.

Eden Graphic Novel: Still cranking out sketches; almost halfway done with the first draft. And what’s this I have here in my pocket? Wha-BAM! Another sketched panel from the graphic novel, courtesy of Andres Cornejo. Yup, he’s pretty awesome at what he does.

Santino joins the crew:

Artwork by Andres Cornejo, all rights reserved.